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Rudy Ruggles, Editor
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Friday, 11 September 2009 14:38 |
What happens if you're late to a business meeting? Run a red light? Fail to pay for your morning coffee? Rules and expectations are important. They help establish the do's and don'ts for society and help things run smoothly. But rules are not automatically known; they must be created and learned. That's where parents come in. If young people are not taught early on that there are rules they must follow, they think they can do anything they want at any time. And, while we may like the freedom to make choices, having boundaries to follow-and expectations to live up to-can make life easier for everyone. Family Boundaries is Asset 11 of Search Institute's 40 Developmental Assets, the qualities, experiences, and relationships that help young people grow up healthy, caring, and responsible.
Research shows that young people are more likely to engage in positive behaviors and attitudes-and less likely to practice high-risk behaviors-if their families set clear rules and consequences and monitor the young people's whereabouts. Only about 42 percent of Ridgefield High School students surveyed have families with clear rules and consequences and parents or guardians who regularly monitor their whereabouts. Nearly 6 out of 10 lack this crucial support structure. Working with young people to set boundaries is an important way to show them you care.
As a family, set clear, concise, and consistent boundaries based on your values and expectations. Make sure everyone-not just the children-is following the same rules, although there may be some differences depending on ages and maturity. Be sure to set up clear consequences for family members who break the rules. Also, make it clear everyone must always let the rest of the family know where he or she is.
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